Added: Kamil Calloway - Date: 18.01.2022 20:39 - Views: 22113 - Clicks: 4160
We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. I want to give enough background for better understanding. I have 3 boys who are aged 9,9, they are alomst 10 and 8.
My oldest twin, who is beyond extatic for a baby sibiling, and, along with his brothers, has been begging for a baby sibiling for many years, told me he is so excited for when the baby arrives. He told me he wants to help with the baby and even said he would do the stinky diapers that's a big deal for him because he is kind of a germaphobe and generally a very clean boy lol. They have a 2 year old boy cousin who they absolutely adore, help out with everything, play with, anything they can. Their cousin adores them more than any adult in the family and is so excited when he sees them.
My children are natural born fathers to any and every child they see, even random kids at parks, beaches, etc. As in, they refuse to even wear a baithing suit without a swim shirt on. They are overly respectful for other peoples bodies and feelings as well, and even get noticably offended and protective if we take pictures of their nephew when he was a baby in the bath tub, or even if it shows his little baby bum. They worry he will be embarrased one day by those pictures and don't want anyone to see the pictures.
I was talking to my mother about this, telling her how sweet it was that he actually wants to help with the not so cute and fun aspects of having a baby in the family and she felt EXTREMELY strongly about NOT letting any of the boys even SEE the girl parts, let alone change a diaper or help with bath time. She had a horrible upbringing with an abusive, sexist, overly controlling, bully and overbearing father, and two brothers who emotionally, physically abused, bullied her and SEXUALLY mollested her many times growing up and even into young adult hood, and her father ignored it even after they were well grown and she confronted him.
She is known to be overly protective of girls, and understandbly so. I completely understand her feelings on this issue, and I told her I do. I also told her I would look into this issue more and see how others feel about this.
She was silimlarly this way with her 4 daughters as we grew up, and often times family members who didn't understand why she was this way, would make fun of and Sister changes diaper her for her "crazy" rules ex. This was not in any way a diss to the boys, she did not expect or think they had bad thoughts, just simply taking any remote chance of anything completely off the table in her mind. Sister changes diaper times for boys and girls, seperabe beds, etc. We were allowed to play together of course and normally. Just the more intimate settings had to have boundries.
So far, every single thing I have read from others in this exact situation has felt that there is absolutely nothing wrong with it; it's healthy for kids to understand and see the differences in boys and girls and that theirs help with their opposite sex baby sibilings regularly.
Some even Sister changes diaper it absolutely absurd that there would be a question of if it is appropriate or not. But those people probably didn't have a past in their family that had these things happen, so it may be inconceivable to them to think something so awful could happen or Sister changes diaper thought of even. I understand both sides of this argument, and I truely feel in my gut that my boys are absolutely not a threat of any kind or even remotely capable of even thoughts of that nature, based on their personality and way they are with those around them, especially young children and babies.
My husband and sisters agree with me that we do not see it being an issue what so ever with our boys. Furthermore, I was raised very sheltered, and as a result was extremely confused and ignorant to so many basic human functions; what's natural, etc. I was overly embarrassed and humilated by the most BASIC of bodily functions and feelings, even as a young adult.
I truely appreciate I had the chance to be NAIVE to these subjects as opposed to being in a bad situation like my mother found herself in. She did the absolute best she could to protect us. And she did! I am so blessed she gave us a good and safe environment to grow up in. However, I want to raise my boys to be aware and understanding of people, men and women, and understand that human bodies are NOT gross, NOT weird, what's normal, what's not normal, NOT embarrased, and to be supportive and understanding husbands and fathers.
I think if they end up having a little sister it could be a good way for them to be involved and learn and understand the differences in bodies and funtions. Furthermore, my sister pointed out that if they NEVER see a vagina in their entire young lives they will be overly curious or confused and could end up looking into worse ways of finding information out. We feel that the curiosity should be killed by teaching them that first if all, body parts are NOT only for sexual thoughts.
I don't think a boys first introduction to a females private areas should be sexual at all. And I think that way of thinking among people is a contributing cause of this mentality that men only see vaginas as a sexual thing with no other purpose. Well that is a lot of information and everyone has their own opinions and your mother has her reason very good reason to feel the way she does. He says he wants to help with it all too!
Boy really can be so sweet. Talking to them early and gauging their reaction and questions really helps to feel out the maturity of your child and whether or not they can mentally take the information. So whatever you choose is completely up to you! But it sounds to me that your boys are more than mature enough to learn about their new sibling. Thank you so much for your input, and it's nice to hear how others in this situation are handling this topic.
I agree with you, I think they can handle it well. My 11 year old son helps change my daughter's diapers. He expressed early on a desire to help care for her. When I suggested offering to help with wet diapers he got a little wierd and was like "yeah, but I'm not supposed to touch her private area. Once he understood he wasn't hurting her, and that I was there to supervise, and that it was okay and not wrong or dirty etc he was much more comfortable. I realized after that he was more concerned with her privacy than me thinking of sexual abuse.
So he got a lesson in female anatomy, a discussion about respecting her inability to consent for care, and a lot of confidence about helping mom with wet diapers. If that's Sister changes diaper you are okay with, just take a more normal approach about it, don't make it seem like such a big deal. If you trust your children, let them help. You are obviously aware of what to look out for. My mother was molested and kept us very sheltered for fear it happening to us.
I agree with the posts, if you trust your kids go for it. So I still stick firmly by that. So, as someone who has been abused sexuall asI'm very straight forward with my children I have all boys. Boys have penises, girls have vaginas, end of story. But in public, it's "private parts. But I married into a super-Catholic Hispanic family who believe very differently, and that's okay. It was a huge point of contention with my husband for a long time.
But he finally got it. All I EVER here from his family is girls aren't as smart as boys ughthey're more delicate ugggh more innocent ughhand not as capable as boys uggggghhhhhhh!! If I was having a girl, I would allow my son s to help if they were interested, and to he!
Of course, I would always supervise and I would explain thoroughly about changingetc. Because they'll be curious anyway, I'm not going to shame a boy or girl for having a penis or vagina. This baby is my 3rd and last boy, and they will be involved, but had he been a Sister changes diaper I would have permitted them to be involved just the same. Girls and boys are different physically, this is why, end of story. My son asks a question, I answer it. He asks about child birth, I answer him as honestly as I can with appropriate 5 year old responses.
It isn't a big deal to him, so he's never tried to look under a nursing mom's cover, he knows what kind of touching isn't okay, etc. Which scares me. Sorry, I digress! You know your children better than anyone, you should do what you think will be more comfortable for everyone.
I love your response to this! My ex-MIL has this same mentality about it not being appropriate for male family members to see female infants getting their diapers changed, bathing etc. But I always got a creepy feeling from her way of thinking. I honestly think that it is incredibly harmful to perpetuate that type of thinking.Sister changes diaper
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Cute Sister Helping Mother Change Diaper Of His Newborn Baby